Reflections
by Nuky
Summary: Poems,
1. Cry against reality

**Yeah, this is one of my poems where I ask myself what I drunk to get this on paper. It's basically about nothing, except if you read behind the lines. **

**Cry against reality,**

The girl in the black, is lingering for fairytales,

But she's trapped in a unique body, in the cruel real world,

She tries to make a different,

Tries to keep up,

But her only reward is feeling cagiest,

Answers stay questions,

Her angels flew away,

Path is getting thick with reality,

The worlds stands up for her claim,

But at night she rises,

Wounds are fixed, eyes are sealed,

Whispering to the moon, letting out her cries,

All the lies, all the pain it drains away,

She feels the wind,

Carving trueness in her soul,

Like tonight she stands on the roof,

Singing her only song,

Praying for a better truth,

Facing her destiny, waiting for her downfall,

Whispering the words over and over,

She stands on the edge of the world,

Stars shine as never before, guiding her way down,

It's like the fairytales finally become true and the worlds bows for her end,

There is the real world hard as stone, cold as ice,

Now she understands while crimson paints the streets,

To become more than real you have to suffer,

And she did,

Her end is near,

But it just the beginning,

Because now the fairytales are close by,

Little voices whisperer in her head,

And for one last time she opens her eye's,

So her tears cry for the moon,

The girl in the black, who lingers to fairytales,

Found finally here answer,

Truth never existed, lies have never become,

All what matters is you're ending and the promise to stay unique,

And keep dreaming for a imaginary world.

**Somehow… I find it very good, I don't know if people, other than little me crazy psychopathic girl, understand where it's about. Again, please review and see ya ,hopefully, next time.**

**I'm the devil,**

**I'm a angel,**

**I'm living in a world of pain and fear,**

**I'm living in a world with peace and love, **

**I don't know what I am,**

**I just want to say I'm sorry for the way I am, **

**But it's just me,**

**Me,**

**What's me,**

**What am I?**

**A devil or a angel?**

**I don't know how I feel,**

**I don't know anything,**

**I just know,**

**I have some friends,**

**And they love me for what I am,**

**Whatever that is,**

**Whatever I am. **


	2. You're gone but not forgotten

You're gone but not forgotten,

You're gone,

But why do you keep haunting me in my dreams,

Every time I close my eye's all I can see is you,

You, with you're innocent smile that could melt a frozen heart,

You, with you're laugh that could make the shadows disappear,

You, with eye's that could see throw my soul,

You're gone,

But so far from forgotten,

I can't never forget you, I love you and still do,

Ever day without you is a hollow hole,

With no light,

With no joy,

Just grief,

You're gone,

And it's killing me inside,

I can't even look at you're picture,

Without feeling emptiness and hate,

Because you're gone,

And can't come back,

You're gone,

Taking away from me,

I don't believe in God anymore,

I hate him,

Because he took his angel back to soon,

Because he took you to heaven,

And gave me hell,

You're gone,

And soon I will be to,

I will turn numb and get invisible,

Because I don't want to feel that emptiness anymore,

I don't want to feel incomplete,

I don't want to feel this burning desire to stop,

I just want to see you one more time,

So we can both say our last goodbyes.


	3. perfectly incomplete

Perfectly incomplete.

I'm not the way you wanted me to be,

In fact, I never was,

Not good enough by you're believes,

Not smart enough according to you're will,

You never believed in me,

Never wanted to see what I really am,

Sometimes I ask myself if you hate me,

Ore if you ever loved me,

Well, do you?

Did you ever cared about me?

The real me and not that perfect girl you wanted me to be?

Fuck you,

I'm imperfect,

And sometimes fucked up,

But I want that,

I want to be me,

That fucked up sometimes crazy girl,

I want to be myself,

That's not much to ask, isn't it?

Just not to listened to you ore the rules,

To be more than this shit,

I will never be normal,

Get use to it if you want me to stay,

If you want to hate me that's fine too,

Then I will be out of you're head soon enough,

Won't sicken the air around you and just leave,

I will get the hell out,

Won't look back,

Won't fight,

If that's what you want?

What do you want?

Do you know that yourself?

Ever asked yourself my question?

What do you want to be?

What are you're dreams?

You're fears?

Ever had them?

When did you lost all that much?

You're incomplete you know that?

Perfectly incomplete,

So maybe if where together we can be whole,

Don't have to hurt all that much anymore,

Just be our self's,

With no-one to judge us,

We can love again,

Feel again,

Even rest,

But I guess it's to late for all that,

Non of us speak anymore,

Non of us listen,

We're deaf for the world,

One to the perfect fucked up world,

The other to that haunted fairytale,

Which of us is better off?

To believe in anything real?

Ore to hope that some day it will get better?

We both know where living a lie,

It wont get better,

And nothing is real in this world,

So why do we keep pretending that I'm fighting this real world?

And why don't you shout at the lies?

Why are we to numb to fight for what we believe in?

It can't be that hard,

Every step we take,

Is harder to fake,

When will we fall and realise what is happening?

When is it to late?

To see?

I hate this,

This hell, this unreal world,

Where are the shadows,

Please take me there,

I want to be alone,

But some part wants to stay with you in the perfect sun,

It's breaking me apart,

I'm not good enough,

And you deserve better,

But why did we ever met?

Why?

What do you think of me?

What do you see if you look me in the eyes?

I think you hate what you see,

Because you never look at me that way,

Never you look up, at the real me,

I am more than just this body you know?

At leased I want to be more,

Because if I leave this world I want to go somewhere,

Doesn't matter where,

So am I more to you?

Than just a body to use?

Do you see my tears?

Do you want to see?

Please don't get blind from me,

Leave,

But with me,

I think I deserve better,

Ore at leased a changes to think clear,

You're drugging me with you're kisses,

I can't think clear,

And it's nice,

But I can't,

It's fogging my head,

Making my skin shiver,

I love it,

Please make that stop,

Just stop,

And go,

I HATE you for doing this to me,

You must be blind,

And I must be paralysed,

Because where still together,

Holding up,

Living in shame,

Hurting the other,

Believing in our own lies,

Keeping distains,

Later breaking the space,

We can't love,

But what can we?

What's keeping us together?

The question why?

The bittersweet harmony?

Maybe the thrill?

I don't know,

And I don't know if I want to see,

But right now,

Hold me.


	4. My loving shiny star

My loving shiny star

I lost the spark,  
It's because I'm happy,  
And that makes me kind of sad,  
To have the gift I needed to suffer,  
But now I'm compleet,  
And it makes me perfect,  
So I lost the gift,  
Need to hate to be,  
Need to hurt to be,  
The real me,  
Where is my spark?  
I think you stool it,  
Because when I look into your eye's,  
I can see it,  
Shining like stars,  
My spark,  
My passion,  
My gift,  
You stool it,  
At the moment you stool my heart,  
I hate to be in love with you,  
Because you made me less,  
And also compleet,  
I love you,  
But I'm not sure enought if I love you enough,  
To make a end to my star. 


	5. Am what I am

Am what I am,

Guess you don't want to look at me,

Why, am I not good enough to breath?

I can't help it that I'm so far from perfect,

You made me,

But sometimes I think you feel regret,

Why?

Am I unworthy to be near you,

Do you sometimes wish I was death?

Well, fine,

I'll play death to you,

Cut you're parts out of me,

Because I think that you're scared,

That I might be more that you'll ever be,

You where never as good as I will become,

Never got the strength to be more,

Than what you've become,

Sometimes I think you're blind,

Looking away from the things I made,

Why?

Are they scaring you so bad?

Why?

Do you really feel regret?

Sometimes I think you're to stupid,

To understand who I really am.


	6. Can't get over you, can't be with you

Can't get over you, can't be with you,

The memories of you just wont fade away,  
I try to break the spell you put on me,

But you're magic is to strong,

I begged,   
Please get out of my head,  
Every time you leave I suffer and cry and wish to die,

You make my head spin, my heart burst in bloody tears,

And when you leave, again,

I swear to myself never to let you so close again,

A empty promise,

Because the second you come back for more,

You gaze catch me,

You're sent fills my head with joy,

And you're touch makes my hate and grudge melt,  
My love seems not enough for you,  
But what can I give you more than that?  
I desperately wish you would understand,  
The mess you put me throw,

Maybe you do understand,  
Only loves to see me be so low,

Do you love me the way I do?  
Ore do just like to see the pain and hurt?  
I can't possible understand,

Why you always come back at the moment I fall in pieces,

But you do,

Every damn time,

To be my white night in shiny armour,

Saying things to me to good to be true,

I believe them at that moment, because I want them so badly,

I want to beloved,

But I also want to be free,  
I don't know what to do,  
But you tell me not to worry tonight,

So again,

I leave it be.


	7. Today

Today,

Every day is a new day,

What will you expect, what will you give?

Will you win, will you lose?

Never will you know,

What the next day will bring,

So you better sing and enjoy,

Because for all you know,

It could be you're last,

So look forward and sing,

Be happy with the things you've got,

And hush the things you will never get,

Be free,

Be more than yesterday,

Say the things you want,

Never listen if you don't want to,

Run, dance, and sing,

Be happy with what you are,

Please enjoy life,

Because this one is all you got,

And believe it ore not,

It's worth living it.


	8. Love must hurt

Love must hurt,

I wish you could understand,

I need to say those things,

Need to hurt you're feelings,

And sometimes scream,

I need you to hate me,

And I hope you understand,

Why I do all those things,

It's because I need to know,

That you love me enough to care,

To hurt, feel bad enough,

That way I can understand,

That I mean something to you,

Sometimes I scream at you,

Call you a thousand different things,

Afterwards slam the door shut,

And cry the whole night,

I've been hurt so many times before,

Betrayed in the most different ways,

You need to know I love you so much,

But those words are locked in my heart,

For only my soul to keep,

And my lips stay sealed,

I lie, deceive and pray,

Because I can't figure out,

Can't understand ore feel,

If you care enough about me,

Love me enough,

So I hurt you and hope,

You will forgive,

Me,

Again until,

You will understand.


	9. Book of mysteries

**Book of mysteries,**

**Listen to my outcry,**

**Can't believe you've left me to die,**

_**Deceiving, **_

_**Bleeding, **_

**The memories, our history,**

**You've drown them with my blood, **

_**There nothing to you,**_

_**I was never good enough, **_

**You crushed my dreams,**

**Dishonoured my love, **

**I was never good enough!**

_**Am I nothing to you?**_

**But one flam lit my hatred on,**

**My heart stopped bleeding at once, **

**You've gone to far,**

_**Revenges will be mine,**_

**As my heart stopped beating,**

**Every time you beat me,**

**Will you're do this night,**

**I want to finish my biggest regret, **

_**You,**_

**Welcome to my memories of hurt and suffer,**

**I cut all the pain out of my mind,**

**My book of shadows and secrets,**

**Lies on the floor covert with you're crimson tears,**

_**Of regret,**_

**My mind is free,**

**And you're soul cages,**

**Into my book of mysteries, **

**With a warning on the cover written with you're blood,**

_**Never open this world of misery,**_

_**Because the last thing you will hear,**_

_**Is his last outcry, **_


	10. Puppet

Puppet,

I'm tied with the strings of life,

The needles of my mirror reflection sting in me like chaos,

My body is wrapt in a dress of burden,

The corset so tight I forget to breath,

I'm a puppet in the hands of redemption ,

Not even strong enough to sleep,

My eyes stay open day after day,

But there empty, as my heart and soul,

I'm nothing on my own,

A hollow shell of a girl that's scared of her own dream,

I don't think I'm real,

Because my lips never open to speak,

I'm a puppet in a world without shelter,

Ore a house to ease and breath,

It's because of my dream that's haunting me,

I've surrendered to the puppeteer,

The strings are now in control,

I believe what he tells me to believe,

I see what he wants me to see,

I'm nothing not even willingly to be myself,

The strings are making me move on,

Needles sting in me to remember,

And the corset is tight enough to smother me,

I'm the puppet believing and seeing what he wants me to,

I surrender and crush my dream,

To become a real girl.


	11. Hoping some day will be you're last

Hoping some day will be you're last,

My life is falling apart,

And guess what,

It's you're fault fucked up bastard,

You did this,

To both of us,

With you're screaming and yelling,

Kicking and beating,

You're sick and disturbed, freak!  
And I don't think you can get cured,

You're the disease itself,

Sickly disturbed,

And you will spread,

Sickening the air around me,

With you're touch,

And the gaze of death,

Murderous psychopath,

Hope you die and go to the deepest pit of hell,

I don't see you anymore,

But that doesn't mean I cant feel,

I still remember,

Every god damn time, every freak'n second,

Of the hell you put me throw,

You hated me,

Just for being around,

Was it because I looked like her?

How could you bastard,

I was just a child!

Nobody knows,

What it feels like,

To be diseased by you,

With you're thought, you're eye's, you're lies,

There all parts of me,

Stinging in me like knifes, deep down under my skin,

I want to rip them all out,

But I can't because I will destroy myself,

And all what will be left is you!

You killed,

Everything I loved,

You made me suffer,

Every day for the rest of my life,

You're in my mind,

Every fucking minute,

Because in a way were the same,

Both twisted and fucked up,

Hoping the other will stop one day.


	12. Christmas eve

Christmas eve,

Am I the only one?

That think it's sick some people die because they eat to much,

And other die because of starvation,

But I can't say that out loud,

Not with the Christmas turkey ready to be eaten,

Half of the world buys a Christmas tree,

Hang stars and shinny thing between the lies,

They don't want to see it seemed,

That the world isn't a shiny star,

It's just not, but they can't face it,

Not on Christmas eve when we have to sing our Christmas songs,

They turn off the TV,

Because of the war that's going on,

We created that war,

Stared it,

But when will we finish it?

Let's not think about that,

Not on Christmas eve when were suppose to feel good,

We buy expansive things to make ourselves feel better,

Better a new dress, car or earrings,

Than spend it on that outcast living on the street,

There going to have a cold and lonely Christmas,

All alone just a couple feet from your cosy warm home,

But we close the curtains,

Because it's Christmas eve and where happy,

We all seem to agree,

Ever human being deserves the right to live,

To breath without the hurt in there heart,

Have a home, a family,

Someone that loves them,

But not right now,

Because it's Christmas eve,

And we all think we have to be happy,

With what we have,

With the food, the joy,

The love that fills our heart,

So we forget,

For one night, the most important night,

The true meaning of Christmas,

But I can't say that,

Because it's Christmas eve.


	13. I want to find me, myself and you

I want to find me, myself and you,

I want a place,

Where I don't have to hide the trueness of my heart,

I want to be in a place,

Where I don't have to close my eye's,

I wan to be somewhere,

Where I belong,

My life isn't hard,

My life isn't perfect,  
I don't have to fight to survive,  
I have shelter and food,

Still I have the feeling I'm naked and starving,  
I miss something and I'm so cold,

I want someone,

That gets me,  
I want someone,

That doesn't feel strange to touch,  
I wish I hade someone,

That can care more then less,  
For me,

My life is screwed up,  
Time passes me by,  
And I get off track,  
School is just the building I walk by,  
Home is just a place to crash,  
I look so normal and I smile when you look,

But god I'm so hollow and I cry on the inside,

I want to be,  
With a person that gets me,  
I want to be,  
Happy and complete,  
I want to be,  
Close near the edge of life,  
I want to be,

Crazy and free,

My life is worth crap,  
Time bothers me because I have so much to waste,  
School can kiss my ass let the book burn in hell,  
Home gets the finger because I don't belong,  
I pack my back,

To where ever the hell I'm going,  
As I learned from my mistakes to care what other people thing,  
I turn my back, spit on the ground and get the first train out of here,

I want,  
To find that one person who will get me,  
I want,

To be free and as crazy as I can,  
I want,

To flee the lies and torment I created,  
I want,  
All I can be, with ore without you.


	14. Since the day youve left

**Since the day you've left,**

**Since you've been gone,**

**Since the day you've left,**

**All what matters in my life is getting over you,**

**I ripped you're shirts,**

**Burned all you're pictures,**

**Call you sometimes to name you shit,**

**Still I don't feel better,**

**And feel like I am shit,**

**All I want to do, is get over you,**

**But every time I walk into my bedroom,**

**Our bed room,**

**I smell you're smell,**

**I feel you're hands,**

**I can see you're eye's,**

**It's making me sick,**

**Sickly devoted to someone that left,**

**Getting insane because you have left,**

**Crying my eye's out because of the misery,**

**You left me in all alone,**

**I hate the way you make me feel,**

**I Hate you,**

**I love the memories when we first met,**

**I loved you,**

**Since you have left my world turned into grey,**

**You took al the colours with you,**

**I cry myself to sleep, you know that,**

**Every night is hell,**

**Because my head isn't resting on your shoulder,**

**I wished to get over you,**

**To put the memories away,**

**Block the feelings you made me feel,**

**I gave all my love to you,**

**And you took it to never give it back,**

**A part of me is still with you,**

**Because of you I'm incomplete,**

**I love you so much,**

**And it hurts so much just to look at you're pictures,**

**I love you so much,**

**So please, stop the hurt,**

**You're putting me throw.**


	15. It's snowing again

It's snowing again,

It's snowing outside,  
I never expected to see that again,  
That hope burned away some time ago,  
In the flames of the sun,  
But today,  
It almost feels like Christmas,  
Without the tree, the joy and peace,  
At leased today my hope restored,  
That someday,  
It will be that Christmas,


	16. Can't you see me

Can't you see me?

You want me to be plain, blank and nothing more,

You wish to make me sane, keep me in you're world,

But I wan to be free from you're chains,

Give me the changes to be free,

Did you never heard, if you love someone,

Sometimes you have to let it go,

Please let me explore the world,

I can she farther then you're eyes can,  
I'm more than you, much more,

I can open worlds with my bare hands,  
So don't judge the way I think,

I hope one day the mirror will reflect,

Show you the way you are,

I hope you hate that woman on the other side,

And break throw in my world,

Because I want to show you what's it like,

To create,

Never again call me lazy again, ore give me that look of pity,

Don't see me as a loser, because I haven't failed,

Only in you're eyes,

And that hurts, you can't see the person I am,

I'm not that pretty, I don't smile everyday,

But I'm unique and I care,

And I wish you did the same,

If you don't soon,

I will leave,

I will live, dream and create,

Never look back,

And you will just be the woman in the mirror,

With no reflection at all.


	17. Fear my love

Fear my love,

Let's make a truce,

Because I cannot listen to you're screams any longer,  
It's makes my skin crawl and my heart beat a moment longer,  
I can't take longer to see you like this,  
I cannot stand the pain I let you go throw,

_Fear the love of the once you believe in,  
Because you never know if it's true enough,  
Deceiving is the gentle touch,_

_Never will you see the claws that dig into you're flesh,  
Until you're heart is tear down in pieces,_

This has to end tonight,  
As the moon fell and the sun fight her way back up,  
One of us will die,  
Soaking in the others blood,  
I love you to much, to let you go,  
So you have to stab my heart, because I will never let you leave,

_Fear the love of the once you believe in,  
Because you never know if it's true enough,  
Deceiving is the gentle touch,_

_Never will you see the claws that dig into you're flesh,  
Until you're heart is tear down in pieces,_

Stay with me and die slowly, fading away,  
Because my love will suffocated you,  
Strangle you until you bleed from the inside,  
I want to look you in the deeps of my heart,  
Until you scream,  
And even that won't be enough,

_Fear the love of the once you believe in,  
Because you never know if it's true enough,  
Deceiving is the gentle touch,_

_Never will you see the claws that dig into you're flesh,  
Until you're heart is tear down in pieces,_


	18. Guide the way to normalcy

Guide the way of normalcy,

I know deep in my heart,

I'm not alright,

I have a disorder,

Crazy, blind, disconnected,

I can't see the real world,

My world is all in my mind,  
I can't connect to reality,  
I'm blind for almost all the images,  
My world seemed so far gone,

When will I know I'm alright?

Ore crazy?

When can someone tell me what I am,

Because I lost this answer in my previous chapters,

Am I right?

Am I wrong?

I can't remember,

I wish to be another,

Someone else to know what it's like to think the way you have to,  
I lost the facts, ore maybe never had them,

My instructions got lost on my date of birth,

Still I clutch to be normal,

Because I'm scared what will happen,

When I turn out all different,

I live everyday in fear,  
This pretty face is just a shell,

Nobody will see behind this mask of normalcy,

They can't,

Ever,

So I live my world behind a window,

Trapped in my own mind,

Guided by the rules I know,

I smile and laugh,

But why I cannot tell,

Because I have to,  
I greet the people I thing I know,

Because I have to,

But do I want all these things?

Do I want to laugh?

Within I know I want to cry,  
I greet you on the street,

But do I even know you?  
All these questions I cannot answer,

I can't be fixed because no-one ever told me what is the way,

Into normalcy,

When do you know you're normal?

And the biggest question,

How do you know you're not?

Please give me the answer,

Soon,

Because I'm giving up.


	19. I'll do this my way

I'll do this my way,

The road I picked is tough,

Mostly it's raining, the brigs are broken and I can fall every moment,

I'm alone, with only my imagination as guide,

All the lights went out and there is just no way back,

Because the gate as closed a long time ago,  
I have to walk my way,

My path I choose,

And this is it,

It's hard and cruel,

It's lonely and dark,

Sometimes I fall and bleed, sometimes it's hell,

But this is my road, my lifeline,

This is my way


	20. Please don't let me turn normal

Please don't let me turn normal,

I can see it right now,  
Twenty years later,  
I'll be normal,  
I'll be plain,

I have two kids, a dog and a guy,  
A job that pays correct,  
And not enough time left,

Then I'll have the perfect normal life,  
Many other girls dream about,  
I'll have a nice house,  
A nice life,  
And nothing more and nothing less,

Please God,  
Don't make me be normal,  
I don't want to have that all,  
Can you see me being a good mother?  
Can you see me keep a guy?  
See me having a nice house to clean?

I'm not normal,  
I'm fare from perfect,  
I know I'm still young,  
But please never changes the way I am,  
Because I so want to live MY life,

Travel and see the world,  
Do stupid things, get drunk, get stoned get whatever,  
Let me be crazy, let me dance in the rain, laugh about nothing,  
I want to writ, want to scream, want to dream,  
Please let me dream forever,  
Then let me be plain and normal when I turn grown up,

Hello me from twenty years,  
how is you're life now?

Hope you read this on time,  
Think about you're dreams and goals from that time,  
Did any of them work out?  
Do you still have that draw map?  
Do you have kids and does you're guy suck?   
Well whatever you're life turn out,  
Remember you're still me.


	21. Pages of silence

Pages of silence,

Not so long ago,

There was a little girl,

A bit different then the rest,

Wearing only black,  
Singing whenever she liked,  
Playing with imaginary things,  
She was the outcast,  
People passed her by,  
But never said a word to the strange little girl,

She noticed but never understood,   
Didn't know why she was so differed,  
And as the people kept silent,  
She stopped speaking,   
Words turned into memories,

But her thoughts she wrote down,  
Into a book,  
This way she stayed herself,  
And never forget,  
And never forgive,  
The people who ignored her and stole her voice,  
That made her feel so fragile,   
Until she died,  
Her face fade away,  
No picture was on her grave,  
Because no-one knew her,  
Slowly she faded away,  
But her book remained,  
And so a curse was lifted,  
A grudge of a little girl who was to different to scream,  
Her pages where turned,  
A story appeared time after time,  
About a girl,  
that lived in silence  
And creating silence,  
Forever,  
As you're last breath fades away.


	22. I believe in you,

**_I believe in you, (even if you're not real)_**

**_I see you in my dreams,  
You always linger on the edge of my mind,  
I know you face, yet never saw you,  
I remember your eyes as ever, yet you never looked at me,  
You're always in my head, whispering the most beautiful words,  
Yet I don't know you,_**

**_I'm alone, sitting in a room build off misery,  
The windows are so dirty from tears I can't see throw,  
I'm choking in my own grief,  
Because there is no-one that will miss me,  
When I turn out the lights,_**

**_Except you,  
When I close my eye's you're there,  
To hold my hand, listen to my pain,  
I thing you even can hear my thought,  
But you're never there,  
Unless you only live in my thoughts,All I know is I love you,  
But I'm not even sure you are real,  
That you exist,_**

**_I'm scared that faith is playing a game with me,  
And if so, I will lose,  
Because If you're not real,  
I don't want to live anymore,  
All I want is live the lie,  
And believe in you._**


	23. What have you done

**What have you done,**

My hand in front of my mouth,  
To cover the screams,  
My eyes stare in the distance,  
At you,  
My sanity is leaking,  
Because this just can't be true,  
I knew you fell,  
But this low I had no idea,  
And all I can do is stare,  
To the monster that's you,

_Blood still drips from your hands,  
No matter how many time you wash them,  
It stays on your skin,  
You're marked,  
Black ink has covert your mind,  
Never will you be whole again,  
A part is faded, the angel inside is dead,  
Buried with the body you wish to never see again,_

I'm still waiting for an answer,  
To the question I never got to say out load,  
The one that made me scream with no sound,  
Why?  
It was on the edge of my tongue,  
But fainted when you stuck that knife in me,  
My eyes seek into the distance,  
And I wished this wasn't true,  
But the painful crimson stings to much to hope,

_Blood still drips from your hands,  
No matter how many time you wash them,  
It stays on your skin,  
You're marked,  
Black ink has covert your mind,  
Never will you be whole again,  
A part is faded, the angel inside is dead,  
Buried with the body you wish to never see again,_

What have you done?  
That question is in both our heads,  
And once it will be a burden to you,  
I will die,  
My hand still covers my mouth,  
How long will you manage to keep the words inside,  
How long until the pain in your lies become to true,

_Blood still drips from your hands,  
No matter how many time you wash them,  
It stays on your skin,  
You're marked,  
Black ink has covert your mind,  
Never will you be whole again,  
A part is faded, the angel inside is dead,  
Buried with the body you wish to never see again,_

I lied far beneath you,  
Lay hidden in a pit you dig with your bare hands,  
Rain is starting to fall down,  
As the tears and the blood rolls down my cheek,  
You look at me for one last time,  
Then fill the whole with defeat,  
Your angel is buried under the ground,  
With me and I will never let it go,  
Because you don't deserve a place in heaven,

_Blood still drips from your hands,  
No matter how many time you wash them,  
It stays on your skin,  
You're marked,  
Black ink has covert your mind,  
Never will you be whole again,  
A part is faded, the angel inside is dead,  
Buried with the body you wish to never see again,_

What have you done,  
The words sting in your head,  
A years has passed,  
But still you can't get the blood of your hands,  
Close your eyes of that last image of me,  
Look into the mirror and see other than a killer,  
Stop hearing my tears fall down every night,  
Taste the dirt and the rain every morning,  
What will you do now?  
Now the ink start to start,


	24. lates 5 ore so

**Pages of silence,**

Not so long ago,  
There was a little girl,  
A bit different then the rest,  
Wearing only black,  
Singing whenever she liked,  
Playing with imaginary things,  
She was the outcast,  
People passed her by,  
But never said a word to the strange little girl,  
She noticed but never understood,  
Didn't know why she was so differed,  
And as the people kept silent,  
She stopped speaking,  
Words turned into memories,  
But her thoughts she wrote down,  
Into a book,  
This way she stayed herself,  
And never forget,  
And never forgive,  
The people who ignored her and stole her voice,  
That made her feel so fragile,  
Until she died,  
Her face fade away,  
No picture was on her grave,  
Because no-one knew her,  
Slowly she faded away,  
But her book remained,  
And so a curse was lifted,  
A grudge of a little girl who was to different to scream,  
Her pages where turned,  
A story appeared time after time,  
About a girl,  
that lived in silence  
And creating silence,  
Forever,  
As you're last breath fades away.

**I believe in you, (even if you're not real)**

I see you in my dreams,  
You always linger on the edge of my mind,  
I know you face, yet never saw you,  
I remember your eyes as ever, yet you never looked at me,  
You're always in my head, whispering the most beautiful words,  
Yet I don't know you,

I'm alone, sitting in a room build off misery,  
The windows are so dirty from tears I can't see throw,  
I'm choking in my own grief,  
Because there is no-one that will miss me,  
When I turn out the lights,

Except you,  
When I close my eye's you're there,  
To hold my hand, listen to my pain,  
I thing you even can hear my thought,  
But you're never there,  
Unless you only live in my thoughts,

All I know is I love you,  
But I'm not even sure you are real,  
That you exist,  
I'm scared that faith is playing a game with me,  
And if so, I will lose,  
Because If you're not real,  
I don't want to live anymore,  
All I want is live the lie,  
And believe in you.

**What have you done,**

My hand in front of my mouth,  
To cover the screams,  
My eyes stare in the distance,  
At you,  
My sanity is leaking,  
Because this just can't be true,  
I knew you fall,  
But this low I had now idea,  
And all I can do is stare,  
To the monster that's you,

_Bleed still drips from you're hands,  
No matter how many time you wash them,  
It stays on you're skin,  
You're marked,  
Black ink has covert you're mind,  
Never will you be whole again,  
A part is faded, the angel inside is death,  
Buried with the body you wish to never see again,_

I'm still waiting for a answer,  
To the question I never got to say out load,  
The one that made me scream with no sound,  
Why?  
It was on the edge of my tongue,  
But fainted when you stuck that knife in me,  
My eyes seek into the distance,  
And I wished this wasn't true,  
But the painful crimson stings to much to hope,

_Bleed still drips from you're hands,  
No matter how many time you wash them,  
It stays on you're skin,  
You're marked,  
Black ink has covert you're mind,  
Never will you be whole again,  
A part is faded, the angel inside is death,  
Buried with the body you wish to never see again,_

What have you done?  
That question is in both ore heads,  
And once it will be a burden to you,  
I will die,  
My hand still covers my mouth,  
How long will you manages to keep the words inside,  
How long until the pain in you're lies become to true,

_Bleed still drips from you're hands,  
No matter how many time you wash them,  
It stays on you're skin,  
You're marked,  
Black ink has covert you're mind,  
Never will you be whole again,  
A part is faded, the angel inside is death,  
Buried with the body you wish to never see again,_

I lied far beneath you,  
Lay hidden in a pit you dig with you're bare hands,  
Rain is starting to fall down,  
As the tiers and the blood rolls down my cheek,  
You look at me for one last time,  
Then fill the whole with defeat,  
You're angel is buried under the ground,  
With me and I will never let it go,  
Because you don't deserve a place in heaven,

_Bleed still drips from you're hands,  
No matter how many time you wash them,  
It stays on you're skin,  
You're marked,  
Black ink has covert you're mind,  
Never will you be whole again,  
A part is faded, the angel inside is death,  
Buried with the body you wish to never see again,_

What have you done,  
The words sting in you're head,  
A years had passed,  
But still you can't get the blood of you're hands,  
Close you're eyes of that last image of me,  
Look into the mirror and see other than a killer,  
Stop hearing my tears fall down every night,  
Taste the dirt and the rain every morning,  
What will you do now?  
Now the ink start to increase,

**My heart burns,**

All the tears I granted you,  
Until I was drained,  
Empty,  
There is nothing left of me,  
My soul is gone, my body wasn't strong enough,  
So it flee,  
It had to, because there is no living anymore with me,

But my hear,  
Kept burning,  
Still holds you're memories,  
You're laugh, mind and soul,  
It can't forget the way you made me feel,  
Passion, love, it's still in the flames,  
It's the only think that keeps me here,  
Bound to the ground you left me to die,  
Still it keep burning,  
For you,

My body becomes numb,  
After al the days that have passed without you to hold in my arms,  
There is just no rezone anymore,  
To go on,  
I don't want to go outside, not anymore,  
The sun will shine,  
But what will be the use to feel her warmth on my skin,  
Her beauty is nothing compare to you,  
And her heath is not even close to the way you made me feel,  
I miss you from the deepest of my heart,  
That can't seem to let you out of his fire,

When will it be time?  
That my mind freezes completely,  
When will the cold take over?  
A part of me gave up a long time ago,  
But I'm still fighting,  
Because there is still a spark left,  
Of hope,

My heart is still burning,  
With one little spark,  
That you will return,  
And we both can surrender to the flames,  
You belong to me,  
Both we need the love and passion to burn our last bit of sanity away,  
So I will be waiting for you,  
Until the last bit of hope burns away.

**Passing the challenge,**

Death is no ending,  
It's a challenge to pass to another world,  
That's what they say,  
And that's what's written in the book of my believe,

But why is it so hard,  
To forget the way you lay in my arms,  
Ore the way you're lips made my feel,  
Why is this challenge so big,  
So hard and cruel,  
Because I have to wait for another lifetime,  
To meet you,

Slowly I'm realising,  
I have seen enough of this world,  
The sun never seems bright again,  
The colours are slowly fading away,  
There seems no warmth left,  
Disappeared with you to another place,  
Another time,

And so will I,  
Because I'm a loser that can't win,  
The lost of you,  
Makes me bend on my knees,  
I want to lose this game,  
Defeated I look down,  
To a loss I didn't mind losing,

Because with this sacrifice,  
I will travel to another time,  
Another place,  
Until I find you.


	25. Are you worth it

Are you worth it?

I think I'm sick,  
But you'll never know why,  
Nor will you see something is missing,  
In me,  
Ore maybe there is,  
There is to much in here,  
To many memories,  
Not enough time to forget ore to forgive,  
There are a lot of bad thought in my head,  
Who's right and who's wrong,  
Who will fight and who will give up in a sec,  
I never know because I never try,  
I never trust so I never cry,  
I'm normal, yeah that's the lie,  
But pull up that happy face again,  
Smile and cheer, plead and fear,

I think I'm sick,  
I have to because there is something wrong in me,  
All in my head,  
All in my gaze,  
I see you, but are you even there,  
I might not even know you,  
I think I'm to scared to care,  
That's a fact,  
Until I flee,

I think I'm sick,  
That wall I build might be to high,  
And I'm not sure I want to be free,  
Because I know this place, this dream,  
What is everything else turns out to be fake,  
Messed up and ripped,  
So I prefer to hide,  
I can be a bitch,  
I can curse, yell and scream,  
I can make you hate my so much,  
Until you run,  
So you never see me,  
Never can hurt me,  
Never see me cry,

You think I'm sick,  
And you're damn right,  
Can't get cured,  
Can't be normal,  
Can't get hushed,  
I'll always be me,  
Nothing more,  
Nothing less,  
You don't know half off me,  
Buy you're still here,  
So you might be worth trying.


	26. winter ends

Winter ends,

Look outside,  
The rain falls down,  
Today it looks different,  
Like it's not suppose to be,  
Because all the air around me feels warm,  
I'm flying and the rain does not exist,  
Not today, not tomorrow,  
Maybe not every again,  
The sun will shine and make the cold go away,  
No more ice, not more tears,  
The curtains closed for today,  
Today I make the choice,  
Winter ends,  
Spring starts,  
Cause I long for the summer.

**It sucks, and so does the winter.  
****  
x Nuky**


	27. I stared half, but walked away as one

I stared half, but walked away as one.

Don't move you're sight from me,  
Since when did you turn out to be so blind,  
Never did you care before,  
Never did you wanted to see,  
That you destroyed the greatest part of me,  
And now all there is left,  
Is what you wanted to be true,

I know there is so much more in life then to obey,  
I want to see more then you tell me to,  
I want to feel and know more then you're stories,  
Cut me free from the strings you tide around my wrists,  
And let me finally become real,  
Because I _know _there is so much more then you,

There are so much goals to fight for,  
Because I really want to _be_, and _be_ strong, _be_ a person,  
I need another world, another mind to travel,  
Sense the things you blinded,  
That's the gift, the beauty of life,  
The world behind the fantasy,  
I know the truth is out there,

Now look away,  
But hold the gaze of this new soul,  
You changes and so did I,  
I've become strong, I could crush you,  
Never mind,  
Because now you're the one so tiny and fragile,  
No longer to good to be true,  
You broke my spirit into pieces and gave my life away,  
I took it back,  
Took it all,  
At leased what was left,

Now I look away,  
From the figure I leaf behind,  
A weight falls from my shoulders,  
I can finally breath again,  
No remorse tide around my neck to hang me,  
No grief, no pain, non of that all anymore,  
The stones crush under my feet,  
As you're mind does in you're head,  
Finally the pieces fall apart,  
As we,  
To be never whole again,  
And I'm glade,  
Because finally I can be one person again.


	28. Breaking

**Breaking,**

I wish I had a reason to hate you,  
But I cannot find a single one,  
There is nothing to blame,  
You never screamed,  
Never made me less,  
Noticed the difference in me,  
Took all my complaints, fears and shit,  
You never took anything away from me,  
That's where I thank you for,  
There is nothing that compares what you've done for me,  
Still I cannot touch, because then the reflection could break,  
You crossed my boundaries,  
Lingered over the edge,  
You made up the mind of this fragile doll,  
That had enough of hurtful games,  
But still I'm not sure you're for real,  
Ore just like to play childish games,  
Still likes toy's until they break,  
Doesn't bother to collect the pieces,  
To small to broken to glue them into one again,  
Always missing pieces, never be whole,  
So I don't hate you,  
But life is falling apart,  
Because of you.


	29. The truth cannot heal,

The truth cannot heal,

Life has turned into a ugly shell,  
No past and no future,  
You cannot speak so you cannot tell,  
Because the truth has been broken,  
Words set free into the ashes of you're life together,  
Released from my lips,

A new start is created,  
A new beginning with a new point of view,  
Chaos that's creating,  
Is no longer a part of me,  
I survived the weakness of my heart,  
And let the shadows free,  
To leave my lifeline forever and ever,

You think you're better but within you suffer,  
Bleeding until internal death,  
Because behind the mask you're scared,  
Running from the shadows of our lives,  
You can run but you cannot hide,  
Because truth is out there and it will devour you,

Eye for a eye,  
Fear turns into freedom,  
And lies will be deceived,  
And you will bleed,  
Because chaos was everything I tasted, felt and breath,  
The truth cannot be healed,  
No cure can make me suffer less,  
But one moment of reality can make everything so clear,

So clear.


	30. Trust

Trust,  
Only yourself,

You have no idea how low you've made me sink,  
I guess you're words are really empty, even when I hope for more,  
You know I was the girl that always longed for fairytales,  
I don't want to live in reality, that's to difficult,  
'Cause I'm not normal, there I said it, I'll never be plain,  
I'd kill myself before I let that happen,  
You have no idea how bad you make me feel right now,  
Took a little bit of fantasy away,  
With a bit of innocents,  
Never will I get that back, never find that piece again,  
Sand of time can heal the most vicious wounds,  
To somewhere in the past my heart is still a gaping hole,  
Thanks for sticking that knife throw me,  
Thanks for making it very clear,  
You can only trust yourself,  
To bad I had to hit bottom,  
Before I understood that.


	31. A haunted girl lingering for shadows

**A haunted girl lingering in the shadows, **

A century after the earth turned black,

A young girl was found,

With no family, with no past, wandering with a crow,

She was different and so she was sent to the shadow world,

With no light, with no guide,  
She had no place to go and the shadows frightened her,

She kept walking and walking the dark road,

To find a place to go,

She kept walking and walking the dark road,

Her hair grew long, her feet bled but she stood her ground,

Because her hope to find her place in the world she never belonged to kept burning,

But the shadows were strong and the road seemed endless,

The shadows turned into monsters and she was so scared,

So she cut her eyes out, so see didn't need to see and put them in a jar,

And she kept walking and walking,

Without a light, with no guide,

Finally after many, many years she walked out of the shadow world,

But she had no idea, because she cut her sight away,

Stupid frightened girl, you'll never see, never see again, the shadows whispered in her mind,

She'd been so long in their world they would never leave her alone,

And still she did not have a place she belonged to,

Nor a friend, a lifeline,

Just a dark road with shadows lingering for her,

With the same knife she cut out her eyes, she cut out her heart,

Because she could no longer take all the grief and fear,

She cut out her heart and she cried bloody tears,

For a lost life she never dared to live,

When her heart was out she stood up and screamed,

Because without her heart there was no conscience,

No voice to tell her right from wrong,

Nothing that could hold her rage back, for the loss of her life,

Her heart she fed to her crow, now he was her conscience,

Her eyes she pull out of the jar and gave them to the bird, now he was her eyes,

From that day they would never be parted, because the girl needed her heart,

And from that day the world that once chased her away, turned grey,

With shadows lingering, with voices that never stopped whispering,

The world had become a dark place and rumour spread about a young girl with no eyes, with no heart and with a crow as her guide,  
This with a goal, walking her endless path,

She sent her crow forward and waited till it was dark, then she asked her shadow to slip into the house the crow had chosen,

The crow and the girl waited behind the wall while her shadow sought her victim,

And cut out their eyes, and cut out theirhearts,

So the crow could be fed again,

And the girl could feel whole again,

Rumours spread, murder after murder,

But never did they find the girl that walked her dark path,

And they never caughtthe crow that lived on hearts,

Luckily one day the sun burst through the grey clouds and the shadows stopped whispering,

Stopped lingering,

The shadow world slowly disappeared, faded away,

Again the girl cried tears because her shadow had left and without her shadow she could not find satisfaction,

Without the shadow, her crow could not eat,

Without her shadow her hollowness turned her older,

No longer was she a haunted girl,

Now she was a tortured woman,

With no eyes to see,

With no heart to feel,

One day she stopped walking her endless path and kneeled against an old tree,

Her crow lodged in the hollow tree and died,

The tortured woman wanted to cry over her friend, but no bloody tears would appear,

Because without her friend, she had no heart, she had no eyes,

Her guide had died, her heart had stopped beating,

She lay down under the old tree and whispered to the shadows to find her,

Her blood run cold and she stopped living, like her feathered friend,

That's how the dark tale of the haunted girl ended,

But still, shadows linger in dark corners,

Whispering their secrets,

Whispering about an old tree at night,

About the soft sound of a crow that feeds himself with hearts,

And about a tortured woman who's seeking for her shadow to live again,

Be warned,

Be scared of that haunted woman, because there will come a day,

That the world will turn grey again and the shadows will come back to the woman with no eyes and no heart,

And when that dawn comes,

Never sleep,

Never linger for the shadows,

Hold your life-light, hold your guide,

Because her crow will spot you and make you her next victim,

That's what the shadows have been told.


	32. Just fuck off

Had a fight with my daddy-o, big fight. Instead of getting all Emo I wrote some stuff down. Don't have to read, don't have to react, I just wanted to make a statement.

Just fuck off.

Don't you ever make me feel small,  
Don't you ever call me shit.  
Don't you ever say I'm stupid,

'Cause I'm not,  
I know I'm not,  
No matter how much you scream,  
Razing your voice,  
Now that's a sign of weakness,  
Your so full of shit,  
You are a sinking ship, you know that,

I am old you know,  
I am not a kid you can waltz over,  
I am not lazy. I am not stupid,  
I am more then you'll ever be,  
I am whatever I want,  
And if you don't like it then die,

Die fucker full of crap,  
Die motherfucker you never had,  
Die bad evil man from my stories,  
Die asshole walk to hell,

It took me long but I figured out now,  
Why I can't love for the full,  
Why I don't trust anyone for sure,  
Why I thought I was nothing,

It's because of you, sick fuck,  
It's because you care more for your own good,  
It's because you could never had,  
And never can give,

I blame you for that,  
You _both,  
_You put me here, that was not my choice,  
You wanted a pretty face,  
I couldn't be that, not the way you wanted.

Instead I kept myself,  
I hid it, I hold everything in,  
I was dying for a long time,  
And you didn't even see it,

But I fought for my own good,  
Didn't car for your approval anymore,  
I grew, I fought, I got stronger,  
And you can't handle that,

Fine, if you don't like me anymore,  
That you see yourself in my eyes,  
I don't care that you don't,  
But why do you need to scream for all that?  
Ignore me for all I care,

But NEVER make me feel small,  
Make me feel weak,  
Doubt myself,  
Let me sink back in the time I felt so lonely I wanted to die,  
Don't,  
Just back off!

Or I'll leave,  
And I won't come back no matter what.


	33. Creature of nothing

**Creature of nothing, **

You know your pretty sad,  
Like that stray dog that's so pathetic it needs to be kicked,  
You with your murky little mind,  
I hope you die and no-one remembers your name,

Because your nothing, really.  
Not even good enough to been spit at,   
Something that needs to be out of his misery,  
Your nothing more then less,

And nobody cares when you cry yourself to sleep,  
Or wants to listen when you feel real bad inside,  
Frankly because your to ugly and to stupid,  
As you'll always be, the rest of your life,

Little piece of nothing,  
Tiny thing of hell,  
Ugly stray, murky bastard,  
I hope one day you wake up without a mirror reflection,

Your almost invisible you know,  
You winch away every time anyone comes close,  
That's the only good thing about you, you withdraw,  
So people don't have to touch you,

You nasty creature of nothing,  
Disgusting breathing thing,   
I help you wish you won't wake up tomorrow,  
Because you have no use, your just trouble,

What do you think people will say to your grave,  
You think people will remind _you_?   
I laugh at that because I know better,  
No-one cares, no-one gives a fuck about you,

Please let me help you pull the trigger,  
Because I can't stand looking at you,  
Seeing such a ugly being,  
I can't even call you a human,

Your mutilated,  
Your deformed and plain ugly,  
And you know it deep down, you know your not forth to live,  
So why don't you just die, fuck face,

Isn't it nice to get that all throw in your face,  
Truth hurts like a bitch don't it?  
Right?  
But that's alright, because your nothing,

Nothing, just a humble piece of hell.

**Felt a bit frustrated, needed to be mad for some reason. It has a bigger mean then just calling names, but I'm not going to share that with ya'll. You'll figure it out yourself, or not nehe…**

**Kisses all around, Nuky**


	34. Forgotten Melody

Forgotten Melody,

I remember how she played her tunes,  
Beautiful, medallic and serine,  
She would only do that for me,

_Behold my piano,  
__Her kindness is so clear,  
__When I shed a tear,  
__She plays only for me, _

When I cannot return,  
She will miss her tunes,  
Therefore she get's locked away,  
And never plays again,

_Behold my piano,  
__Her kindness is so clear,  
__When I shed a tear,  
__She plays only for me, _

One day I could not wake up,  
She got soled,  
And soon her wood got affected,  
No longer could her notes be perfect,

_Behold my piano,  
__Her kindness is so clear,  
__When I shed a tear,  
__She plays only for me, _

Sometimes I can hear her cry,  
Behind the door they banished her,  
Dust fading away her ebony,  
Worms crawling under her skin,

_Behold my piano,  
__Her kindness is so clear,  
__When I shed a tear,  
__She plays only for me, _

No longer is she perfect,  
No longer is she serine,  
Waiting for me,  
Waiting to play her melody,

_Behold my piano,  
__Her kindness is so clear,  
__When I shed a tear,  
__She plays only for me, _

I wish for her a new master,  
Were is The Pianist with a pure heart,  
Who can tame her first venomous tunes,  
I wish for her a new start,

_Behold my piano,  
__Her kindness is so clear,  
__When I shed a tear,  
__She plays only for me, _

But who will cry for her to understand,  
The intensity of one single tear,  
Made by true suffer,  
Causing a broken heart,

_Behold my piano,  
__Her kindness is so clear,  
__When I shed a tear,  
__She plays only for me, _

**I made this poem long time ago while listening to **_**Piano **_**from **_**Rammstein **_**yeah rockchick over here!!!**

**A little thingy about this poem. It's about the pureness of grief. The first Pianist was heartbroken and therefore there lay so much intensity in the music he created it was perfect. But then the Pianist passed away from his bleeding heart and left his only comfort to rot. **

**Yes, I'm such a cheery person.**

**X Nuky**


	35. My burden, my flames

My burden, my flames,

My heart is no longer of stone,

Nor so cold as ice,  
Now I am afraid you can scar me with you're flames,  
From today you can burn my heart and soul,  
Until I'm empty,  
Until I'm numb, 

From the walls you made me break free,  
But you never told me about the lost world behind it,  
How could you've been so blind,  
Now I need to learn about broken and cruel,  
Because that's what's your world is about,  
Even colder than my one protected heart,

You're the burden on my soul,  
My blind spot,  
You're beautiful, but also feared,  
Because with your eyes you could tear my body apart,  
With your touch mark me for life,  
And I have no strength to fight, ore a heart that will listen to me,

You let me break free,  
And cages me in a new cell you've created,  
Chaos is in my mind,   
Destruction is in my body,  
And my life is falling apart,   
Burning in you're flames,

You're my burden, you're my sin,  
Still I need you're touch,  
Need to feel you're flames,  
Need to breath the fire,  
Because chaos and destruction made life easier,  
I only live my life for me now,  
And for you, because I love you,  
Even if that's breaking me. 


	36. Two minutes of silence

Two minutes of silence,

We all want more,  
But we forget what we already have,  
The most important thing in life,  
Freedom,  
Not for sale no money that can get,  
We're so lucky and we don't even realise that,

So the least we can do,  
Is to respect,

Because good man have died giving us our freedom,

Many went and never came back,  
Blood, tears and pain,  
Given for us to live,  
We cannot know what suffer is,  
We cannot feel what it is to live in fear,  
We cannot understand,  
So we show respect,

Two minutes,  
To think about the murdered ones,   
Two minutes,  
To think of what we have,  
Two minutes,  
To think of the beatify of freedom,  
And to show our respect. 


	37. War is art

**Last summer break I was close to obsession with the movie Platoon. It really made me think about a few things. So I made a few little drabbles. **

War is art,

War is a kind of art,

No matter how bloody and cruel it is,

It's art, because it's created by a madman,

Taken by a greedy bastard and ten thousand man have to suffer from it,

Art is money, money is war,

So war is art, the most bitter and sick kind,

Painted in the blue, blue sky.

With crimson red, black and hate,

War is art, made by a craftsman,

Working hand in hand with faith.

Art is not to understand, it's a fast glimmer of a though, of a brilliant man.

But brilliancy and insanity are so close to each other.

Where is the fine line in war? What happens to the bloody art?

When the madman doesn't receive enough money,

Then he gets paid in bloody money.

From man that have made a kill into a throw profession,

Art is war,

War is art,

Eye for a eye,

Blood for money,

What happens when the war is over?

Where does the art go?

You know as good as ever, art never dies. Because it exist in the head of everyone.

You can't grab it, it's to much. To much for one person.

So war never dies with it. War is everywhere, in everyone's head.

You can't turn blood into art, you can't turn money into art.

That's why we need war.

Blood money, to created, to reach.

We are art.

And that goes the same with war.


	38. I Dream about later

I Dream about later.

Day's pass, I say goodbye,  
Time is slipping through my thigh fist,  
And I'm crying, I'm crying,

Because today is almost a goodbye,  
Tomorrow is coming soon, very soon,  
And I have to be stronger,  
Be so much better,  
To be that girl, I've become,

What lays beneath, what lies become,  
I wanna be older, I wanna be strong,  
I wanna be, because I need to be,  
That girl I have become,

Anytime,  
Everyday we chance a little,  
And one day we won't fit anymore,  
Fade away, drifted apart,  
Just because tomorrow had to come,  
Anytime,

I say goodbye, today,  
And thank yesterday for being my past,  
Wishing you a great farewell,  
Because I have to hurry for tomorrow,  
For the girl I've become,

Time won't chance a thing, say the lies,  
Time chance everything, even me,  
Even you,  
Time is the thing that holds us strong,  
But also drifts us apart,  
It's time, and it's coming soon,

There is so much time left,  
For me to be stronger, to get older,  
But there seemed to be not enough to choose,  
I wanna fit, I wanna become,  
More then the girl I am today,  
But time is running out, because tomorrow whispers,

All I can say, today,  
Carpe Diem, sees it before you run out of sand.  
Kiss goodbye yesterday and greet tomorrow,  
Choose before it's to late,

Close your eyes and dream about later.

.-.-.

**It's about me. Because I'm in my last year and I have no CLUE of what I want to become. Yeah, I know what I want, more then everything. I wanna become a writer. But that's not easy at all. I know, people say 'It's your dream, follow it!' But I'm waaaay to insecure, Dutch (who practically hates her language) and I don't think I have **_**It**_**. So I need to come up with a plan B, very soon. **

**And I have no clue… No clue at all. **


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